Cell group

Write down
Complains: why is my health like that ? Am I being punish ?
I am too busy to serve You . I need time for myself ?
God ,u must have known by now these r the commen thoughts that I have in my mind from time to time . Just wondering my heart of serving ? Is it contract base or convent base ? If it is coverent  base why was I complaining ? Why was I lazy ? Why was I calcultive ? Why do I feel that I did a lot ? Even until today ? . Lord Jesus I am sorry . Today I confess infront of u . Than how Lord will I have a pure and correct heart of serving ? When Lord will i put down all I have and follow you ? Teach me Lord your ways . I wonder if U tell me what to do . Will I dare to do it ? Will I be willing to do it ? Am I ready to do it .? Lord Jesus , I am not sure . Do I deserve whatever I am having now ? Today this cell group kept me thinking about these.. God are you reminding me ? Are you telling me what  to do ?  The bottom thing I wanna say is . Lord Jesus I still love you!